Lucky?

I've heard the word lucky alot the past few weeks. I suppose it is only natural, what with me finding out about winning the lottery and finding out that I got the job I've been wanting in the same week. But after talking with a friend last week, I started thinking again about luck. Was it really "luck" that brought all the things that keep me grinning the past few weeks?

I'm not so sure anymore. An old friend used to say to me, "the harder I work, the luckier I get." I'm starting to wonder a bit about his words. I would never have been able to get the job at SCTC if I wouldn't have gone back to school three years ago to get my masters. During those three years of long nights writing and grading papers, reading long boring scholarly articles, and designing assignments for my students there were many times when I wanted to quit. It was not easy balancing school, work, and time with my family. There were days when I was positive that I couldn't do all three. But, the hard work ethic instilled in me by my father prevailed and somehow I got through.

And then there was that job interview at SCTC last summer. I went certain that I would never be offered a job, but I thought that it would be a good experience for me to interview anyway. I never dreamed when I walked into the dean's office that within two weeks I would be working my dream job. I took a chance going to the interview -- and they took a chance on me. Was it luck -- or was it the culmination of a lot of hard work and a bit of grace on the part of the dean? I still didn't know at that time that it would turn into a permanent position. But I continued to work hard to do the best job possible for my students -- and again, that hard work payed off in a job offer last Friday.

What about the Kona lottery slot? Surely that was luck. Well, certain some luck plays into that. But I did have to enter, and I spent a lot of time thinking over my answers to the questions on the lottery form. Whether that had any impact on my selection I don't know -- but I do know that I have worked incredibly hard to get this couch potato body into good enough shape to be able to train for and complete two IMs.

And what about the spiritual aspect of all of this? I'm not sure how to answer that question anymore. The easy answers that I grew up with about God don't really satisfy me anymore. I have deep questions about my faith. That doesn't mean that I don't believe anymore, it just means that I am thinking critically about the beliefs that I hold. There was a time when I would quickly point to all my good fortunate as God's blessing in my life. But then what do I do about Jonathan's leukemia and the other difficulties we have seen over the past five years? And how do I explain the suffering that my Christian brothers and sisters deal with every day? Is that evidence that God isn't blessing them? I can't make those assumptions anymore. Instead, for now I will thank God for allowing me to work hard and for guiding me to do the things that I have done -- and not try to assign blame or causation to him. At any rate, I'm certain that this next part of my life's journey will find me searching even more reconnect with the spiritual aspect of my life.

Luck? Well, I'll take the lucky label if you have to use it -- but I'd rather be remembered for the hard work I've done and not the luck that I've sported. I know that I won't be out buying lottery tickets anytime soon. I also know that I am very fortunate and am continually grateful for the life that I have been able to live so far.