"You Are so Tough Melissa"

I promise, Mom, that isn't my leg! At least not yet. My tattoo will be smaller and have Hawaiian flowers surrounding it. I have the imagine in my mind, just not the guts to put it on my body.

So why am I showing you a random picture of a leg with an Ironman Tattoo on it?

New followers of my blog may not realize that I have completed three Ironman Triathlons . . . that's 2.4 miles of swimming, 112 miles of biking, and 26.2 miles of running. Yes, in the same day. And if you don't finish in 17 hours you don't even get the t-shirt.

I was never an athlete. I still don't really consider myself one, although I'm told that's no longer accurate. Whatever. I'm not going there today as I look at my screwed up knee propped up on a chair. What prompted this post today was a comment from a co-worker a few minutes ago. He had heard me share part of my story last Friday and said, "I saw a side of you I never knew. You are so Tough." I didn't know what to say to him. I don't feel tough at all. In fact, I feel rather weak most of the time and wonder that others don't see it. As I thought about his words, I realized that he wasn't seeing the whole picture.

Here's what my co-worker doesn't know about me. Some day I hope to share this with him, when he's ready. Today I will share it with you. If it weren't for the love of God, I would not be alive today. I could not have surrived the last seven years without his incredible grace in my life. And if it weren't for the love of a few precious friends, I would not be alive today. I don't do what I do alone. I am weak, dependent, vulnerable. Really, truly, I am. I've known this about myself all of my life and started admitting it to God and others a few years ago. My apparent strength comes From God in me -- protecting me, defending me, loving me, working through me. It also comes from those people God has put in my life who have offered me protective love. They protect me in my weakness, the accept me for who I am, and they affirm me for what I do well. They don't let me get away with "I'm fine" when I'm clearly not.

So, my dear co-worker, it's not me you see that is tough. It is the work of grace in my life.

Papa, would you work through me that others could find the freedom that comes through accepting your love?