Perfect

Ring the bells that still can ring.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in.
~Leonard Cohen, "Anthem"


Anyone who visits my home will likely doubt the following statement. But the truth is, I am a perfectionist. It doesn't show itself in my housekeeping skills, but it comes to light in almost everything else I do. Perhaps the reason why it doesn't show at home is that I have finally resigned myself to the fact that with four young children, perfect housekeeping is completely not possible. I don't even try anymore.

But in my school work, in my teaching, in my thinking, in my actions -- I long to be perfect. I have this crazy idea that I could actually obtain perfection if I just tried hard enough. But I can't. I simply can't. And this causes me so much heartache, wasted time, and sleepless nights as I try to figure out how to minimize the disasters in my life. Maybe I can't be perfect, but if I could just appear to be perfect . . . alas, what a foolish thought.

So after a rather difficult weekend where I was much less than perfect in just about everything, I came across the poem posted above. God's surprise for me.

As I think about all of my "failures", I realize that it was through my weaknesses that God brought great blessing and honor to my life. He brought light into my life, and even though there are most certainly days and weeks when I can't or chose not to see the light, it is there.